This week we interview U24 gold medal winner and Fury member Amel Awadelkarim. Co-hosted by Tulsa Douglas and Luisa Neves. Luisa also forgets that she plays on a team with Tulsa.
This episode, we talk with Amel Awadelkarim about her time playing with Tulsa on U24s, her time playing against Tulsa on Fury, and discovering how to help her team while injured. Amel also discusses her experience with the Color of Ultimate, as well as the upcoming Con10ent Tour, and more.
Share the Air is hosted and edited by Tulsa Douglas and Luisa Neves. It is planned and produced by Tulsa Douglas, Luisa Neves, and Tim Bobrowski. Share the Air's music is by Grey Devlin and Christopher Hernandez. Share the Air is sponsored by the National Ultimate Training Camp and VC Ultimate.
Con10ent Tour information: https://discoverdiversity.org/con10ent
Ultimate Impact information: https://ultimate-impact.org/
Tulsa: Welcome to episode two of Share the Air. I'm Tulsa.
Luisa: And I'm Luisa.
Tulsa: We're excited to be back here with another great conversation. Before we jump into that, we thought in addition to you, getting to know about the person we're talking with. You might want to get to know who Luisa and I are, um, and a little bit about us. So over the course of the next few episodes, before we jump into our interview conversation, we'll do a little bit of a get to know you kind of each episode.
Luisa: Yeah, we'll kind of interview each other and all you listeners will get to learn more about who's behind the mic. So to start this episode, we thought it would be fun to play a little game where Tulsa and I will each try to guess all the teams that the other has played on in their ultimate career.
So I'll go first, uh, and this week I'll guess Tulsa's teams, and next week she'll guess mine. So to start...oh boy, Massachusetts high schools, Amherst?
Tulsa: Yup.
Luisa: It was? Incredible. All right. So starting at Amherst and then St. Olaf Vortex, then Boston Siege, and Boston Brute Squad. So that is college and club.
Tulsa: Should I tell you if you've missed some?
Luisa: I've already missed some?
Tulsa: Yeah!
Luisa: No don't tell me.
Tulsa: Yeah, no, I won't tell you. I'll just tell you, you missed a youth team that I played on and missed two club teams that I played on each for one year.
Luisa: Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm going to come back to it, but in terms of other teams played for a cycle of U24.
Tulsa: Yeah.
Luisa: Um, okay. A youth team. I have to scratch that one.
Tulsa: BUDA.
Luisa: I always forget that BUDA is like an it's a team and not just like the disc org.
Tulsa: YCC.
Luisa: Cool. For the other two club teams, were they women's teams or mixed teams.
Tulsa: One was women's. One was mixed.
Luisa: Were they both Boston?
Tulsa: No, neither were Boston.
Luisa: Did you play out in...where is St. Olaf?
Tulsa: Minnesota.
Luisa: Minnesota teams.
Tulsa: So the mixed one was just for the series. The women's one was like, I'll tell you that. Western Mass women's team.
Luisa: Hmm. No, I don't. I don't have it.
Tulsa: Okay. It's called P.L.O.W. Potatoes, leeks, onions, watermelon.
Luisa: Yeah, no.
Tulsa: And picked up with the Minneapolis Millers Going into my sophomore year of college.
Luisa: Cool.
Tulsa: And Gridlock, Gridlock Lu!
Luisa: Oh my. Gee! That wasn't, that's... you couldn't include that's embarrasing. That's a good, a good mess up.
Tulsa: With Lu on Gridlock.
Luisa: With Lu and Gridlock.
Tulsa: Okay, so you got a bunch right and you missed three.
Luisa: I missed BUDA, Miller's. No P.L.O.W. and Gridlock.
Tulsa: Oh yeah. Four.
[intro music starts]
Today our guest is Amel Awadelkarim. After getting her start in ultimate at Penn State. Amel has since played for club teams like Philly's Green Means Go, DC Scandal, and now San Francisco's Fury. In 2018, Amel won gold with the U.S. Women's national team and won a club national title with Fury. She's currently working towards her PhD at Stanford, and she'll be joining the Disc Diversity's Con10ent tour later this year. Amel, welcome to Share the Air.
Luisa: Let's start at the very beginning just to like get warmed up. So you started playing at Penn State and your first introduction to ultimate was playing in college?
Amel Awadelkarim: Well, so I guess I was introduced to ultimate just before college, but it was my first time playing ultimate in an organized way, was yea at my freshman year of college? That was also my first time playing an organized sport.
Tulsa: I read that!
Amel Awadelkarim: Where did you read that?
Tulsa: Oh, I, you know, I found like every past interview, so what made you decide to play ultimate? And what was that experience like as your first sport, first team sport?
Amel Awadelkarim: So what made me play ultimate was my best friend in high school. And I, we always liked throwing a Frisbee. Always really liked sports and loved gym class and was like generally athletic. Then the summer before my freshman year of college, I met people in my local community that were on the local team. I met some of those people went to lead with them once didn't play, but just watched kind of really liked those people. And then one of them was also going to Penn state at the same time as me and made me try out with her. I tried out, and then it was my first time playing a sport, first time playing ultimate. I just kinda like face-planted into falling in love with ultimate and went crazy my freshman year.
Luisa: What made you fall in love with it? Was it the sport itself? Was it the community? I always hear different answers from, from folks.
Amel Awadelkarim: What was it that made me fall in love with it? I think really what I was falling in love with was just team sports, like just competing against other people. That was primarily what I was falling in love with, but I also love the sport of ultimate and the flight of a disc. I kind of get really nerdy about what I like about ultimate. It's literally the feeling of a throw coming off my fingers and seeing the throw out in space or chasing a throw that's perfectly put to space. So kind of the game and just competing in team sports.
Luisa: A podcast with three handlers. I think we can spend an hour talking about throwing.
Tulsa: Yeah. I was just thinking that too, like, Oh, it's such a good feeling. Yeah.
Amel Awadelkarim: Is that what you miss? I was asked recently what I miss about ultimate and the thing that first came to mind was the feeling of a perfectly put to space, upline deep throw, like breakthrough. That was the thing that I miss.
Tulsa: Yeah. I hadn't quite thought of that, but catching, in motion, catching a pass. you don't even think you just throw it and it goes exactly where you want it. Yeah. I think I miss, I miss the team aspect the most. I was driving to go hiking the other morning and it was the right time of morning and the right weather and the right time of season, I was like, it really feels like I could be driving to some Frisbee thing. And then
Amel Awadelkarim: Oh,
Tulsa: Yeah
Luisa: Those crisp Those mornings . Yeah. I think the feeling that I and I thought about this feeling all the time, while actually playing a now, the number of times I think about this feeling. It's that before you lay out for a disc, before you're in the air and you've realized Oh my gosh, I've jumped. It's that second of your whole body tensing and getting ready to leap. I think about that -
Amel Awadelkarim: good one.
Luisa: - literally all the time.
Amel Awadelkarim: That's a good one.
Luisa: So was GMG your first club team?
Amel Awadelkarim: There were actually a couple like local teams before GMG. So there was this. Kind of really low performing a mixed team from my hometown that I kind of jumped on in the 2013 club season. Then there was a better mixed team from my hometown, but still only just made it to regionals in the summer of 2014. And then I started playing on GMG and that was like my taste of a real competitive team in 2015.
Luisa: 2015. Okay.
Tulsa: And then 2017 was Scandal.
Amel Awadelkarim: Was Scandal.
Tulsa: Okay. That's a lot of different club teams. What has your experience been like playing on those different teams, different cultures, different coaches.
Amel Awadelkarim: I kind of like catapulted into incredible coaches when I joined Scandal.
Tulsa: Yeah. Then Fury.
Amel Awadelkarim: And then Fury. Back-to-back incredible coaches. My coach on GMG, his name is Jeff George and is still to this day one of my most supportive mentors in ultimate. And I'm really grateful for him, he was kind of like a conditioning heavy old school sports, running into the ground will be the most fit team kind of coach. Dutchie was very tactical, very strategic and very like we're going to do it this way and this way is going to work and we're going to win this way.
And now being on Fury, Matty's this culture coach, he wants to cultivate a space where people are invested and, people are feeling good to perform at our best. And he really crowdsources the strategy from the elders of Fury and kind of has the team doing that part, but yeah, very different coaching styles throughout my club experience.
Luisa: Which has been the best for you or has given you the most space to grow, you know, you personally and your learning styles?
Amel Awadelkarim: I think I've always grown most from watching and emulating my teammates more than from my coaches, but in terms of coaching style that I like the most, I can easily say that I like Matty's style the most. I also only spent one year with Dutchy and too early years where I didn't really know ultimate with Jeff George.
I guess everything before that, I really did not know ultimate at all. So it's both my most recent memory and my longest tenure with a coach and yeah, he's an incredible coach.
Tulsa: So on those different teams and like shifting from those teams, I imagine you played different roles. I mean, I've personally, it's hard to like get on a new team and especially a high level team, like Scandal or Fury and figure out your role. So what was you in finding your role on those teams?
Amel Awadelkarim: Every team before Scandal, I kind of, was put in the role of , we're going to build a team around you between college and the mix and GMG. I, as soon as I got on to Scandal, I was trying to fit into a system and found that to be very difficult for me. I was not very good at playing. Just a role and not taking over and getting involved in absolutely everything. Cause that was all I had been trained to do between college and previous club experiences. So it was really hard. I totally had a plummet in confidence level and then performance. I started to feel more confident at the beginning of playing for Fury. And that was like on an upward trajectory, got injured that had some other issues, but definitely my first experience with Scandal, I had the kind of the biggest drop in confidence and performance and then started to like piece together what it feels like to be more of a role-player through the rest of that season and coming onto Fury and you 24 hours, honestly. Yeah, cause those are my, kind of my first experiences playing with people who were like huge names and ultimate, and I was no longer the big fish in a small pond. I was a small fish in a big pond.
Luisa: Yeah. I feel like I can super relate to that. And that actually is part of my, story about you, from our tryout. I think I was one of two people at that tryout who were from the Metro East so same deal. My college team was very built around my play style.
And so to Bent was super scary and I didn't know how to fit in. And then, at U-24 tryouts and feeling like I don't fit in. I remember going into that tryout and being like, my defense. I'm not gonna be able to keep up with everybody here. with my
Amel Awadelkarim: Okay.
Luisa: Yeah. And the really crazy thing that happened was that I actually felt really good about my defense at that tryout. And it was all my offense and it was because I had no confidence going into that tryout I was so,
Amel Awadelkarim: Hmm.
Luisa: about everything. And my philosophy now is that offense is 90% confidence.
and I just I, yeah, I really didn't have that at the tryout. And you made an impression on me because you were so confident on, on offense and I think,
Tulsa: I remember that too. Was that's story I was going to share. Yeah.
Amel Awadelkarim: I don't, I don't remember feeling confident in my offense, but I'm glad it came across that way. That's great.
Luisa: I think it really did. I, I remember our tryout, it was super windy.
Tulsa: It was hot.
Luisa: It was hot and you were so confident with your throws and you really dominated as a handler. I remember that tryout it was also so handler heavy. I remember again, not feeling confident to step up and be like, I am a handler and I cut for many points.
Amel Awadelkarim: Yeah.
Tulsa: Me too. Me too.
Amel Awadelkarim: I also remember handlers.
Luisa: Yeah, I'm just saying you really stood out with your offense. I took that, uh, lesson in confidence from, from that weekend.
Tulsa: That's what I remember too, but I remember your also your positivity and your energy I was totally nervous yeah, it was intimidating. There are a lot of players with big names and I was coming from D3 and I remember I didn't know who you were before then.
Sorry, you probably didn't who I was but I, yeah, I remember you had this confidence and you were talking to people and making everyone feel welcome. It seemed like. It made me feel welcome.
Amel Awadelkarim: Thanks. I think going into that tryout, I really did just want to like make friends, like I was like, really just trying to go in, I just want to have fun and make friends.
Luisa: Well, I definitely want to hear about your U 24 cycle together. You guys went to Perth, Australia, right?
Amel Awadelkarim: Yeah. Long flights..
Tulsa: Yep. Yeah. I was curious about, what was the hardest part of that trip for you and what were some good memories you have? Because for me, one of the hardest parts is definitely the jet lag. I remember like up at and 4:00 AM, the first week, week and a half.
I think I was only adjusted right before we left. And sitting at three, 4:00 AM in my little dorm room, like, okay, breakfast, doesn't open till like 6:30.
Amel Awadelkarim: Whoa.
Tulsa: What do I do?
Amel Awadelkarim: I don't think I really suffer from jet lag and like sleep issues very, very much. I don't remember feeling jet lag. I probably was though. That was a big time difference, but I don't remember it. The thing that I characterize as, what was challenging about that was the Japan game. And the games later on, I started to have some like physical issues. I had this one weird crotch knee collision in a game against Columbia. And since that moment for the rest of the tournament, I had this like really bad, hip socket kind of back hamstring issues and just lost my confidence in my step and in my defense after that.
Yeah, that was what I would characterize as the difficulty then, otherwise I just had so much fun living in that small, weird community with a bunch of people that I was really excited to get to know and getting to know those people. Oh yeah. It was really great.
Luisa: Can I ask, how was it trying to come together as a team in the space of two weeks? I'm pretty sure you only had what one or two practice weekends prior, like a practice camp weekend prior. Amel you just said you really know too many people coming into the tryout, Tulsa, you of you were just like, Oh, here are all these names.
How was it as maybe two of not those names coming into it and, and finding your place and also making sure that you're collaborating, making a team.
Amel Awadelkarim: Tulsa. How many how many world teams had you played on before that one? Were you
Tulsa: That was first.
Amel Awadelkarim: Okay. So that was my first too. And I knew it was my last, because I was the upper end of the age limit. I found, I think that I just find it really fun to learn about people and I get really excited in new spaces. So I went into that and was just so gung-ho about everything. And it helped that the coaching staff, Nance and D crafted a bunch of, get to know you things and we had a team meeting every night and there was a concerted effort into getting everybody on the same page and getting everybody jelled well, emotionally and socially, and all of these other factors before, we were actually on the field together. I found it very fun to like, just kind of meet new people. It wasn't so much about trying to become a team as much as it was trying to get to know everybody and become a supportive group to me.
Tulsa: Yeah. I felt similarly it felt like the, the on-field stuff came easily. I don't know if I'm remembering that, like it's all idyllic now, but obviously there's stuff we had to work through and we practice specific situations, but stuff came easy and like, felt finding my role there in some ways easier because it wasn't like there was a team that already existed. And I was trying to slot in and it was like everyone was coming together. I think socially, it was a little more challenging for me because I'm an hardcore introvert, you know, long practice days travel, all that kind of stuff in a new country, jet lag. was definitely more challenging for me to do the stuff outside, like hang out with people after, but was never exclusionary. So I had a great experience. I think some of those like condensed trips are just harder for people like me.
Amel Awadelkarim: Definitely.
Luisa: That was 2018 that you all went and won gold at Australia. That was also the same year that I think both Brute Squad and Fury ended up in the finals at nationals. Is that, is that right?
Tulsa: Yep.
Amel Awadelkarim: yeah Oh my gosh. My heart is racing now thinking about it.
Luisa: Let's unpack that. What's what's behind that.
Amel Awadelkarim: That was such a challenging and rewarding season for me. That was like the most challenging season of ultimate I've ever played. Damn. Maybe like the next year was as hard or harder, but being on Fury was. very hard my first year in Fury was such a big change and I was learning so much and it was so inspired by my teammates and every tournament, I felt like I was getting better and being more emotionally invested. Like that was the first time I had cried at tournaments was in that season going into that game, I had also never been on a stage that big before.
And that's weird because we had just won gold on the world stage, in January, but it felt like the club national stage was a different level altogether. And I was also surrounded by people that I had been watching just on my laptop for so many years that it was just this massive moment.
There was a crowd, my heart couldn't take it. I was so jittery and anxious and excited the whole time I remember my emotions throughout the tournament. And also that was my first time playing ultimate at the highest level four days in a row.
Building up every, every night. again, we did that at worlds, but it felt different nationals and it was on a different level.
Luisa: Yeah, I don't really remember much, of the course of that, that 2018 Nationals. But was it for either of you for Brute Squad or for fury? what was the journey just to get to that final game?
Amel Awadelkarim: I don't remember the details of pool play, but I know that our semifinal against Riot was the night before the finals against Brute. And it was a, it was a last semifinal game on that Saturday. And it was one of the more emotionally, it was like the biggest test of our season. We were down three and a half. It was eight, five. And Riot was just , all the momentum was with them. And I remember the halftime huddle, I kind of felt like we might lose. I was not feeling very confident. And trying to suppress that and was like, not trying to emote that was trying to just stay positive and get people's heads out of that space. Cause it felt like we were playing in a funk and then this magical thing happened where two of our teammates had written a rap. Like a hype rap to a song that we loved that season and they performed it in the huddle. And I was their backbone beat with my hands. I was just like popping the beat out for them.
And it was just the moment where everybody was just getting the music and in them rapping. And then we came out and took the next five points, took the lead. It was intense battle and emotional journey the night before the finals. And then we get home and are trying to get to sleep, to wake up, to like have enough sleep to prep for the finals.
And I didn't get to sleep till like 1:00 AM. sleep is so important for your recovery and your mental state. And then we jumped in the morning into this very hot, also very emotionally taxing, new environment that was on an even bigger stage. was a lot of, uh, ups and downs. It was an experience. Unlike any other ultimate experience, I've had those two nights.
Tulsa: These giant swings of intensity and you finish a game and it's tight and your adrenaline is up and you've been running around screaming your head off, and then have to like, eat, recover, go to sleep you can't possibly fall asleep and then you have to be up early. Yeah. It's so, so hard.
Amel Awadelkarim: And also we don't have regulators, we're still such a fledgling sport that our teams are just paid or volunteer coaches and the team. And we're like, we're trying to, self-regulate our own recovery and cool downs and stuff. And everybody's intensity is so high I think about more developed sports and how they have people looking out for their sleep and their nutrition and every aspect of the game and how we have to do that all ourselves.
It's crazy.
Tulsa: It's hard. there's a piece of it where I don't want to say that's what makes it unique, but like it's extra challenge, extra, to push through.
Amel Awadelkarim: I think of that as just a new sport thing, but do you view that as one of the charms of ultimate?
Tulsa: That's a really good question. I think of it as a more, uh, sport thing, I guess. Is it charming?? Uh, I mean it's unique. You can find silver linings. Do I wish it were a thing? No.
Lu your question made me think. So, know, I played on Brute that year and we lost it was one point universe point. To be there is really, really special is so much work and Falling short and being in that game is, is really hard. also I try and remind myself, we got second we're in the finals and yeah. It's just not the same.
Amel Awadelkarim: It is very fickle. Your whole season is really gearing towards that one moment, that one, catch that one point and it's a very crazy roller coaster.
Like the outcome of that point, determines whether your whole season was a success or a failure. And it totally shouldn't be that way. And I honestly don't view wins and losses that way, I would rather lose well than win poorly. So the outcome of that, it was less about the outcome and more about had we grown and had we gotten better in the systems that we were working on all season. And if those two things were better than it would be a win for me,
Tulsa: Yeah. Some of us on Brute were talking after those. It was two years in a row that we lost to in tight, in tight games. And I think orking with the team all season, I guess I'd rather lose with the team that I've been working with and building together. There's something about like, at least you lose together.
We can go into 2019 then because a little bit of role reversal there, but semi's time. What was, what was that year and that season like for you?
Amel Awadelkarim: I started the season off of a successful, I'd say rookie season, confident, feeling,
Tulsa: humble!
Amel Awadelkarim: Feeling, feeling, very confident and feeling like I was getting better. And now that I had more to contribute and then pulled my hamstring just before pro champs and had also never had bad injuries before that season. Didn't play Pro Champs, which is early September. So it was late in the season, great, great season up until then. We won Pro Champs. So like team is peaking and doing great. but then, the rest of that season was marred by my recovery.
And I went into Nationals playing like no points the first day, coming in for a point here or there the second day, trying to work myself back in, played a little bit in that semi's game. But not to any level that I wanted to play and just essentially needed to like block out that game and that tournament for my emotional sanity after that, because losing that game. My whole season came crashing on me.
I was sobbing. I was like, I could have done more. I wanted to do more. My stupid hamstring. I'm so upset. The season's over, just all of these really sad emotions came over me after that. Yeah, But congrats to y'all!
Tulsa: You don't have say that. You don't have to say that.
Amel Awadelkarim: I also I really like Brute Squad and if anyone is to win and, Fury's losing. I'm glad. It's Brute Squad.
Tulsa: you.
Yeah. So that was your first big injury?
What was it like initially when you couldn't practice and you're rehabbing and did your role on the team shift? If it did.
Amel Awadelkarim: Great questions. Rehabbing. My hamstring was so confusing. It felt like my hamstring was playing games with me or something because a hamstring injury is like, you can walk on it. You don't necessarily look injured, but if you accelerate in the wrong way at the wrong time, your leg will give out and you will rupture it.
Like, it's just such a touchy thing that I was going into every practice, like I can cleat up, like I can play. And my teammates were like, no, don't it's not worth it. Just keep focusing on rehab, which I did and just didn't ever get kind of back to the place that I wanted to be at, but it was just such a demoralizing injury. Cause I felt like I could play. And then just couldn't at the level that I wanted to. And as for how my role changed, I kind of learned and blossomed into what I think is my true calling, which is being a sideline presence. I really think that this is my talent and at Pro Champs, the tournament that I did not cleat up, I was not attempting to play at all that tournament,
I felt so impactful on the sideline. Like I was like, I actually am having an effect on the field though, I'm not playing. And I actually am affecting the mental state of our team with music or positivity or whatever. And I just felt very good at being a sideline. And I think since that tournament, I realized that that is actually a skill that is really important or, or a piece of a team that's really important.
Tulsa: So so important and people say it
Amel Awadelkarim: Yeah. People say it, but they don't, don't walk the walk.
Tulsa: Yeah,
Amel Awadelkarim: I don't really know your sideline is really gonna make or break the game. Really. I think if it's a close game of evenly matched teams.
Tulsa: Yeah.
Luisa: Yeah, I was, um, at the World's tryouts in 2020, I got injured at like 10:30, Saturday morning and twisted, my ankle had never had an ankle injury before and twisted it first thing Saturday morning, which was really devastating. But I would say that , because I couldn't, learn from playing on the field. I absolutely took away from that weekend another way to be a really good teammate and a really good sideline. And
Amel Awadelkarim: Seriously.
Luisa: I spent, just the next day and a half hobbling up and down the sideline on crutches. Um, . like trying to lose my voice in it. And yeah, for your team, it makes an impact, but also for yourself and like feeling
Amel Awadelkarim: Hmm. Yeah.
Luisa: that you're contributing. Yeah.
Amel Awadelkarim: Yeah. I know the other side of that is I know people when they're injured, get so sad that they can't play that it's so hard to muster the energy. There's just this pull of I wish I could play that's holding people back from being able to be a good sideline. And I dunno if I didn't have that or if I just suppress that, but I was like, okay, this is my circumstance. What can I do? The best thing I can do is put my mind off of the fact that I wish that I could play. Uh, yeah.
[sponsor music starts]
Luisa: Share the Air will be right back. But first here's a quick word from our sponsors.
Tulsa: Share the Air is sponsored by the National Ultimate training Camp located in Western Massachusetts. NUTC is the longest running ultimate sleepover camp in the country. It has also gone international, hosting camps and teaching clinics all over the globe. With the most talented coaches in the world, NUTC is teaching ultimate for the next generation. Learn from the best at NUTC.
Luisa: Share the Air is also sponsored by VC Ultimate. VC has been producing custom uniforms and performance apparel since 1998. A company that proudly puts values and community before profit, VC is the world's best source for quality design and all of your ultimate needs.
[sponsor music fades out]
Luisa: So Amel, we talked a ton about your club career, but in January 2020, you played with the Color of Ultimate team at LA Throwback, which is a beach tournament in California. For anyone who doesn't know the Color of Ultimate is an initiative to showcase the talent of people of color in our sport and raise awareness that people of color and people from underprivileged backgrounds are pretty underrepresented, uh, in, in ultimate. For LA Throwback to color of ultimate mixed teams were formed to participate in the tournament. Um, but Amel, can you tell us more about your experiences with the Color of Ultimate?
Amel Awadelkarim: That was the last time I played ultimate.
Luisa: Oof.
Amel Awadelkarim: That was time I played ultimate. And what a time it was, to be my last, It was so incredible. I don't even know where to begin really. So I watched the Color of Ultimate documentary from Atlanta, the first Color of Ultimate thing and was so bummed that I missed out on it because it looked like the coolest experience.
I wanted to know everybody there. I wanted to learn about people. I wanted to network with more people of color in ultimate. I just really wish that I had gone. So then I learned of the one that was in LA, my coast. It was going to be easier. I no brainer applied. I met Jasmine Childress the summer before, Facebook messaged her and I was like, you got to apply to this thing with me.
Like we both got to do this, and it was great. We both got accepted. Going into it, I was flying there alone, going to a place where I didn't know anybody. And it I booked my own tickets. I just decided to go to this place and leap of faith just to play on a team that I don't know anybody on.
And, it was the easiest time I've ever had meshing with a group of people. The showcase game that we played against each other was the most fun I've had playing ultimate, I think to date, it was just a space where everybody was celebrating each other and celebrating in the way that feels natural to all of us.
And there was no judgment and everybody felt so comfortable and it was just this magical, magical space. And we had a conversation about ultimate and race in the evening of the first nights, Saturday evening led by Shanye, and Shanye is just such a powerful orator and storyteller and like leader that I was just so floored by her.
And we grew even closer somehow that night. Partied together, danced together. It was like, uh, the most it was, I don't even know. I'm overwhelmed trying to explain impactful it was. That group at the beginning of the summer was one of my main selves in the midst of all of the shit that was thrown at us this summer. Even though I had only met them like a few months before, I just only wanted to talk about what was going on with them, or I only felt comfortable doing that with them. So I'm just so grateful for applying to that and doing it. I think it's changed my course in ultimate.
Luisa: Yeah. There were, three Bent players, who also played on those teams and from each of them that it was an incredible
weekend.
Amel Awadelkarim: Stazi's blog posts that she wrote afterward. I re-read it today. And I was just like, that's it that's facts. Yeah. It was awesome to meet them too. Stazi, Lwoods, and Abby.
Luisa: Yeah, they all described it pretty similarly to how you just described it in a way that's almost indescribable: the the space, the people, the energy, one of them, said it was like a breath of fresh air playing in that space.
Amel Awadelkarim: I hadn't really realized, it almost feels cliche, like going into a POC space feels so liberating for people of color, but I did not really realize what exactly I was holding back in the rest of my ultimate time that I wasn't holding back there suddenly. It's really like, I've existed my entire life in predominantly white spaces.
Tulsa: Can you give some examples of those things that you notice that you were holding back?
Amel Awadelkarim: Just kind of like a way of being. I am very generally extroverted in an optimistic and outgoing, but in that space being matched energy-wise and being matched hype wise and being matched in our interests when it comes to, music or, what we'd like to do for fun. I've never felt in an ultimate space that what people like to do are the things that I really like to do, I guess, especially in a party setting, but, I just felt that, we're all jelling in a way that I hadn't seen before in the ultimate spaces that I had been in.
Tulsa: Yeah in thinking about that, being your most recent playing experience, well, hopefully the Con10ent Tour will be the next thing, but what do you think it might be like going back to your other teams, Fury,
Amel Awadelkarim: Oh man I don't know. I don't know how it will be different. I will be different in that, I will know that there is another way of being, there's like another culture to be had. Before I had an experience on an ultimate team that had a very different culture, I just kind of thought that that was the way things were.
And, um, this is what ultimate is like, but now I know that that's what, predominantly white ultimate is like and a predominantly POC ultimate space feels much different and maybe a predominantly Black ultimate space will feel even more different. So I think I'll just go into these next club seasons with with my expectations kind of better adjusted.
And obviously it Fury and probably a lot of club teams are also doing a lot of internal culture work now, too. I don't really know what that's gonna look like going into a club season, but our club seasons of 20 20 and 2021 have been focused on culture and equity and stuff. I don't know what a future in the on-field stuff will look, I don't know how it will look different. TBD.
Luisa: Well here's to hoping that the Con10ent Tour can help share some of those perspectives, those visions. As you said before, Shanye is quite the visionary. Can you tell us a little bit more about, about the tour? There's been a lot of hype on social recently. So what, what pitch can you give?
Amel Awadelkarim: Yeah. So the Con10ent Tour is an all Black ultimate tour. Contrary to like previous ultimate tours, like the NexGen tour and the All Star Tour, we're not traveling to play against local teams. We're traveling to play with local Black players in different communities. And it's just an attempt to showcase faces that you don't really see, especially not together on an ultimate field.
We're traveling to Philly, the Bay Area, and Seattle just three stops in the, in the fall there are 10 traveling players, five female identifying, five male, and we're playing the girls versus the guys plus local players. So it'll be a mixed game in each stop.
Along with the three showcase games, Shanye is organizing a youth ambassador program over the summer, which is, kind of like paid youth project in each of the three cities centered around five different topics.
We're going to kind of be involved in helping the various youth do their project and kind of supporting them on that journey and hopefully they will have a chance to come see us play or even come play with us if they apply. It's just an opportunity for Black ultimate players to see other Black ultimate players playing at a high level.
Tulsa: So how can people support the Con10ent Tour? Like I know that there's been a bunch of fundraising. What other ways can people support this endeavor?
Amel Awadelkarim: I think, primarily fundraising and engagement and think there's a word I'm forgetting, signal thing. That's right, exactly. Like we just want the tour to fall on as many eyes as possible. And I think T he more white support, the more community support that this tour has, the farther its reach will be and the bigger its impact will be.
I think even though it's a showcase for Black players, I think that the community at large can play a big role in the impact of this tour by getting as many eyes on it as possible. And also Shanye is all the fundraising efforts will be going into travel and the youth ambassador program and the videographers and whatever else Shanye dreams up for this. So those two things are probably the biggest contributions.
Luisa: Awesome. You said it's happening in the fall of this year.
Amel Awadelkarim: Yes. It should happen.
Luisa: Cool
Amel Awadelkarim: Hopefully.
Tulsa: I'm excited.
Amel Awadelkarim: Yeah. I'm trying to think about how to begin conditioning for it,
Tulsa: Starting to think about how to begin.
Amel Awadelkarim: So out of touch with that way of being, going, I'm looking forward to figuring that out this summer.
Tulsa: Yeah. What kinds of things have you been doing? For me, it was a shock to suddenly be not playing ultimate. So have you found other ways to be active and other hobbies?
Amel Awadelkarim: Hmm. So many other hobbies, but I've also realized that I'm a naturally sedentary human being. So my natural way is to just chill all day. But I'm with a partner who's very active himself. So I go on a lot of bike rides, gone, a lot of hikes, many road trips, volleyball, roller skating. I haven't been doing any kind of regular lifting or conditioning regimen, but just like a lot of fun and sport playing and hiking, biking. What about you both?
Tulsa: Yeah, I feel similarly, I've been like my goal for a while was just like, do whatever movement brings me joy and cause I know I feel better when I move and I was having trouble keeping up some kind of regimen. So I've been playing pickleball. I've been playing tennis, hiking, walking. Yeah. A bunch of different stuff.Lu, what have you been doing?
Luisa: What have I been doing? My ankle injury happened, what when were tryouts, February of last year? And I really did a number on myself. Yeah, I couldn't really, walk for a super long time and any attempts at running in the summer, were really, really difficult.
I was super fortunate that I've had a really fantastic PT with, Erwin of match fit, and so his rehab mentality has very much been what the both of you just said in terms of just activities that are enjoyable that get you moving.
I think at some point in the late summer, early fall, I was like, I think I'm ready to start picking up weights again. In terms of other things I'm like throwing and stuff and that's a lot of fun, but I have never been a hiker. I just, it's not for me.
Tulsa: Okay. So when we were at I think you had just done your first semester of your program. So can you explain what it's in.
Amel Awadelkarim: Yes.
Luisa: LinkedIn was difficult to decipher.
Amel Awadelkarim: So I'm a fourth year PhD student at Stanford in a department called computational and mathematical engineering. It's basically just computer science with more math sprinkled in it's like applied mathematics. And the idea is just using computational power to solve really large problems. And that's really generalized and vague, and people do a lot of different things with it. I'm recently mostly interested in doing more like policy work or more more social work with a computational lens. So I'm working on a project right now, trying to understand the SF public school, assignment lottery, and trying to understand families preferences around different schools and how different families preferred different attributes of schools.
So there's this kind of like, modeling a family's preferences component. There's a lot of teasing out different demographic information. It's just kind of like a big data project. That's a high level way to describe it.
Tulsa: Yeah, that's cool. That makes sense me. yeah, that, was a good description. I guess, is there a goal in mind or you're just taking this and trying to like understand it?
Amel Awadelkarim: So like where did this idea come from? So the SF school system approached, some professors in my advisor's department. So the school assignment space is a space where there are families with kids and schools, and there's an assignment process that happens.
And they wanted to, do better in their assignment algorithm. They wanted to, solve some problems with self-segregation they wanted to, better integrate the city. So they called upon these researchers at Stanford to kind of help them with that. So these researchers got access to, all this data around that matching process.
My lab people in my lab work with these choice models, they're called discrete choice models. They're basically just ways to understand how people make choices out of a set of items. So I thought it would be really cool to apply those models to this dataset, that I got access to. And the hope is that we could better characterize what families want out of their schools and why different families make the choices they do so that the district can be better informed about why they would want to reintegrate and how to better coerce families to integrate better.
So it's kind of a, an exploratory project where I want to just characterize people's choices and then give that information to the district.
Tulsa: Cool. How did you know, in picking this program and, or applying to the program and then picking how did you know this is what you wanted to do?
Amel Awadelkarim: I didn't. Oh my gosh. I didn't not at all. I only recently figured out that this is what I wanted to do. Also at U 24s is I remember it just I was in a bad place in my first year. Really second guessing myself also there's a lot of imposter syndrome that comes with being at Stanford that I'm still suffering from, obviously.
But yeah, no, I didn't know that this is what I was going to be doing. And it has been mostly informed by the past few months of my life being like, I need to make a change. I need to feel more connected to the subject matter of what I'm doing research on. But before coming to Stanford, I thought that I was going into like a very different space and it wasn't until my first and second years here that I even pivoted into a more data driven people driven kind of direction.
I was very much on a path of mechanics and understanding how things move in work, less so like understanding people and networks and data science. So I, I made a big transition in the first year and a half of my program. And kind of still trying to carve out what exactly I like and what exactly I want with my PhD afterward.
Luisa: You just mentioned, policy work. Are you looking more to inform that policy or are you also interested in the policy itself and what comes after it?
Amel Awadelkarim: So this is also super new territory for me. The model for a career in my family before me was either academics, my parents are both professors, so either you just kind of like stay in research and stay in academia and stay affiliated with the university. Or both of my older siblings are working for companies that don't have a social focus, just plugged into industry.
So I didn't know what a path that had a more service lens would look like, especially with my current career path, which is very much people kind of just plug into a big tech company and that's where you end up. So I honestly don't know. And if you both have, any hookups, you want to throw out, for it, but loosely thinking of working for a nonprofit or a smaller tech company that aides non profits, or something that ties these worlds together, but don't know yet.
Tulsa: So, what's next for you? What goals do you have? What are you envisioning in, you know, whatever next timeframe you want to envision?
Amel Awadelkarim: Such a hard question. I I feel like through the pandemic, I've totally shifted in who I am and how I identify. I think that I realistically will have so many more months and years of self discovery and soul searching. I've found a therapist this year and have only recently like started to unpack my thought patterns and life events. Past just trying to figure out myself and how to like operate in a way that's most true to myself and most healthy, I hope to graduate from my degree next year. Hopefully. I don't really know what my, like, coming back to ultimate plans are. I know I'm doing Con10ent. I can't what it's going to be like to return to ultimate again, just because it's been so long without it. But I also expect that I'm probably going to jump back in gung-ho whenever Fury deems it safe for whenever we think that a safe season will be ahead of us.
But yeah, probably just a lot more time with myself and my relationships and trying to identify what things are good for me and what things are not and who I want to be and how I want to be.
Tulsa: Yeah. Yeah. I feel similarly. Like for me this past year has like the break from ultimate. I, Imean, we were doing ultimate really intensely. Like, it was a big part of our lives and the sudden break has let me channel my energies and thought processes elsewhere. Yeah. And especially like relationships and family and that kinda thing.
Amel Awadelkarim: Yeah. Yeah. Ultimate It was like, you're saying it's such a big time suck. And now that I have all that time back and have been making use of it, I can't imagine donating like half of my life, again, half of my brain power and time to ultimate.
Tulsa: Yeah.
Amel Awadelkarim: But, but it also gave me so many amazing things too. So I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
Tulsa: Our next question is what do you hope is next for ultimate and the ultimate community?
Amel Awadelkarim: Should have planned for this question. Cause you emailed it to me, but...
Tulsa: It's maybe the hardest one.
Amel Awadelkarim: Okay. Maybe let's just talk about ultimate as the sport. I want tournament weekends to be fewer games for tournament weekend. So just low-hanging fruit, the game shouldn't be as high volume death on our bodies. That would be great. So at some point the harder things are like, cultural and equity related, and obviously there needs to be a bigger push for inclusion and diversity and at the highest level and at the lowest level. I think this is maybe a commentary about the ultimate and maybe just a commentary about people in general need to know and be educated on different cultures and different ways of being so that people don't make the mistake of assuming that everybody is subscribed to the same culture, but that everybody comes from the same culture.
I think a lot of issues happen in ultimate, assuming that people see things the same way, like spirit of the game, all of the debates around spirit of the game is that spirit is defined within a very white dominated white supremacy culture framework that, pats people on the back for being polite or high-fiving.
And, you know, doesn't view spirit as fiery competition adherence to the rules, whatever. So as a general statement of that, I think the community could use people can use a healthy dose of not everybody sees the world the same way as you, not everybody comes from the same point of view as you, there are so many different ways to identify yourself, not just racially, but religiously and sexually.
And everybody just needs a better dose of like, here's the perspective that I'm viewing the world from. And that's very different than what this person could be viewing the world from. I think that's a big one and everybody should be focusing on it.
Tulsa: Yeah. I think we have talked about similar things with the goal of our podcast. Helping share experiences and bridge perspectives and grow empathy and compassion. Yeah.
So, you're a part of the Con10ent Tour, but there any specific organizations or movements and ultimate that you are interested in or want to see grow.
Amel Awadelkarim: I'm working with ultimate impact, which is a really awesome org in Area that works in predominantly lower income schools and uses ultimate as an afterschool program, for kids to do something safe and fun and do like personal development.
I love this organization. I wouldn't know how to like plug people to support it, but it's an organization that I'm very much behind and I'm excited to be working with.
Tulsa: Yeah, I've heard of it. And it sounds like it's doing really cool stuff. Yeah.
Amel Awadelkarim: The tour that Shanye is doing over the summer is going to be partnering with Ultimate Impact, which I'm excited about because now I can kind of bridge the gap between Shanye's project and Ultimate Impact.
Luisa: That's awesome!
Tulsa: Awesome! Before we get into our game, are there any messages that you want to share with whoever listens to this?
Amel Awadelkarim: Support Con10ent. Be a better person. Work on yourself. Contribute to the world in a positive way. That's all, not much more past what I've already shared.
Tulsa: Succinct.
Amel Awadelkarim: Be better.
Tulsa: Okay. I will introduce the game. So it's called 10 Second Stall. You'll have 10 seconds for us to ask the question and for you to answer the question.
Okay. If you go for long, we'll yell, "Stall". You'll get stalled out.
Amel Awadelkarim: Being stalled out is so scary. Oh God.
Tulsa: Okay. ready?
[10 Second Stall ticking starts]
Okay, What teammate do you want on the line with you?
Amel Awadelkarim: Finney.
Luisa: The hardest matchup you've ever had guarding or being guarded by?
Amel Awadelkarim: Claire Chastain.
Luisa: Best tournament party?
Amel Awadelkarim: Nationals.
Luisa: Favorite post-tournament meal?
Amel Awadelkarim: Ramen. Or pho.
Tulsa: If you can only have one throw, what throw do you pick?
Amel Awadelkarim: OI flick.
Luisa: Favorite play you've ever made?
Tulsa: ...stall?
Amel Awadelkarim: I don't want to be. I think the most important play I've ever had is the one in the 2018 Nationals against Brute Squad. But that's not my favorite play.
Luisa: Yeah. I was gonna say.
Amel Awadelkarim: I don't don't it's not my favorite, but I don't have one. It's probably one from college and I don't have it on
Luisa: Book, podcast, or TV show rec?
Amel Awadelkarim: Book. Um, two graphic novels, Mouse, or Persepolis, like the two best graphic novels there are.
Tulsa: What's your current favorite song?
Amel Awadelkarim: Oh. Uh, when Parade, Jordan Rekai to cover the Jasmine. Oh no. Or the Silk Sonic leave the door open. Oh gosh. Okay.
Luisa: If you could play with any professional athlete, who would you pick? You can make them play ultimate or you can join them in their sport?
Amel Awadelkarim: A stall.
Luisa: A self stall.
Amel Awadelkarim: Okay. Skip it.
Tulsa: Pick one of the three: burpees, pushups, or pull-ups?
Amel Awadelkarim: Oh gosh. Do the burpees have a pushup in them?
Tulsa: No?
Amel Awadelkarim: Burpees.
Luisa: That's 10 Second Stall!
Amel Awadelkarim: Woo! Okay, great!
Tulsa: Nice work! One self stall?
Amel Awadelkarim: Dang, what was the one I didn't get?
Amel Awadelkarim: That was the, what professional athlete would I want to play with?
Tulsa: Yeah, that your self stall. Then, um favorite play, I think was the, a really hard one.
Well that's all we have. It's been a lot fun trying to come up with Worlds memories and fun Fury Brute stuff. So thanks for taking the time and hopefully helps people be better.
Amel Awadelkarim: Be better! Yeah, thanks for having me! This was really fun.
[outro music starts]
Luisa: Thanks for listening and we'll see you next time. If you like the podcast and want to support us, here are a few things that you can do.
Tulsa: You can follow us on Instagram and Facebook at Share the Air Podcast and on Twitter at sharetheairpod.
Luisa: You can also rate and review us, and most importantly, subscribe to our podcasts wherever you listen.
Tulsa: Lastly, if you want to get in touch with us, you can email us at team@sharetheairpodcast.com. We'd love to hear from you.
Luisa: Thanks so much for listening.
Tulsa: Share the Air is recorded and edited by Tulsa Douglas and Luisa Neves. It is planned and produced by Tulsa Douglas, Luisa Neves and Tim Bobrowski.
Luisa: Share the air's music is by Grey Devlin and Christopher Hernandez. Finally, thanks again to our sponsors, NUTC and VC Ultimate.
Amel Awadelkarim: I'm a naturally sedentary human being.